Posts filed under: ‘Journal‘




Goodbye Busisiwe: 23.12.81 – 12.03.07

Today we said goodbye to Busi. What was fitting was that her funeral service was held at Soweto’s largest Catholic Church, Regina Mundi

<blockquote>When protesting students were fired at by police on their way to Orlando Stadium on June 16 1976, and Hector Pieterson and many others were killed, the students fled for sanctuary to Regina Mundi. With buckets of water at the ready, they managed to douse the teargas canisters thrown into the church by police. But then police stormed the church, firing live ammunition. Although no one was killed, many were injured and the church’s sacred symbols were damaged. The broken marble alter, the bullet holes in the ceilings and the damaged figure of Christ all bear testimony to the terrible lack of restraint shown by police that day.

Regina Mundi has always been a home to the community of Soweto and has functioned as a centre for important community events. Anti-apartheid stalwart Dr Nthato Motlana once described Regina Mundi as “not just a church – it is the people’s church, the church of the nation”.
</blockquote>

Regina Mundi was Busi’s local church where she went every Sunday. She also was a fighter. She stood up and spoke out about all those things that most people do not want to hear. She was not afraid to stand up as say she was raped, declare her HIV status and that she was a woman who loved other women. I didn’t know her long but I have her face in my mind, her photos and most of all her words. On Friday, Breaking the Silence: positive Survivors – published by POWA as an annual writing competition, was launched and a piece by Busi was not only included but she received one of the prizes. She had everything going for her. I have not made many real friends here in South Africa – actually apart from V and M who are not even South Africans there are only two and Busi was one. I will REMEMBER YOU WHEN YOU ARE GONE.

<strong>
REMEMBER ME WHEN I’M GONE FOR……I</strong>

Wrote stories for the nations to read
Stood without fear and told my story
I smiled and greeted without judging
I influenced positive living to the sick
I planted seeds of hope to the hopeless
I groomed and growed the younger ones whose parents died
I created artistic designes with my hands
I crafted and drew beautiful pictures
I installed educatioanl reasoning to some
I taught represented the minority to the majority
I made nations aware
I wronged some and made some happy
I survived against odds
I swallowed my medication even as hard as it was it was sometimes
I did so to remain strong and to llive my live regardless of my status
I fought for women to be taken into serious conideration by our government
I wrote and said “my” spoke word
I fought and showed many that there’s nothing wrong with being diabetic, epileptic and HIV
I represented many of the HIV infected lesbian sisters
I told the truth nevermind the judgements
I lived and I’m still living
I loved and prayed to my GOD
I prayed without hesitation , for , I believe/d
I was a big sister to my younger sisters
I listened to my mother’s teachings
I became friends with father
I’D DIE FOR MY FAMILY, I LOVED THEM SO!
I captured moments with my camera
I brought forth what was unseen to the nations through the power of image,pen and paper
I struggled to make it life
I was taken for a ride by some whom i thought were friends
I showed my rapist how strong i was regardless that he poisoned my blood with his HIV
I beieved and prayed
I stood low and respected all regardless of their age,colour and size
I say along with others
I had a unique voice
I had a message to deliver and a vision to see
I tried,i fell and i never succeeded sometimes
I was patient while to some i was strange
I was loved by some and was hated by some,STILL i did my thing
I loved and appreciated beautiful women
I loved her more than life itself
Some would say…
I am full shit! but spiritually i was full
I was fed with GOD’s glory that’s why I praised HIM
I praised HIM more than i praised friends
I am my mother’s daughter
I made history and marked historical books of this world
SO………
REMEMBER ME WHEN I’M GONE!
FOR..without no doubt i’ll and i am in peace with my maker and creator.

AMEN!

Thanks to all those who of you who posted comments at Black Looks to acknowledged Busi’s life and sent her your blessings – it has helped a great deal.

Your friend Sokari

I think it would be wonderful if Busi’s short life could be celebrated by people using Busi’s space as a palce to write their own stories and poems. I dont know if that will happen but it would be wonderful if it did. If anyone wants poems published here in memory of Busi please email me at info@blacklooks.org and I will post the poem or story as long as it fits in with What Busi stood for. I am sure she would love that and I believe she is there watching over all of us that passed through her life. She knows who is who and who is not!

8 comments March 17, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Tomorrow will be my birthday

It will be completion to 25 years of my pains, struggles, successes and sufferings. I should be happy and over the moon. I am now a big girl plus for the fact that my birthday is almost as the same with the SON of MAN himself should be a cherry on top. I have had a very good and bad days of my life just like anybody else in this world. It is only fair and the same time hurting, heartbreaking and overwhelming. Overwhelming that i have made it up to this far after all I’ve been through. (We all go through our daily moments but let me share mine with you):

Not so long ago i discovered that i was HIV+. I was attacked and raped far too many times in order for me to contract the virus. You see, the reason for that is that i am a woman who identifies as lesbian because of my involvement with a woman. My attackers and different rapists did so to show me how it is to be a woman. I often wonder and ask myself if all women including those who aren’t homosexual got raped in order for them to remain and stay “women”.
The irony to it all is that im still that lesbian bitch whom they wanted to show how it is to be a woman.It is worse cause the only thing they have done is install hate, fear and anger towards men in general. The most unforgiving thing that they have done and wont take away is that they have poisoned my blood with their HIV. I am saying this because with the rapes i can go for counsellings until it is dealt with maybe. But it is different when each time i have to swallow a the HIV medication. Even then i had to make a choice as to whether i remain at home dying and denying the fact that i was infected or do something about it. So being the person i am i chose to stand up and act on it. Another reason was that because we are mostly failed and judged by those we are relying and depending upon because of our sexuality. It may not be right to some but imagine having to go and lay a charge only for you not to be taken seriously by the police who let you know that you are also a “man”. And again by those whom are suppose to be protecting and supporting you as a sister. They are the ones who later tell you it is because you befriended your rapist that is why maybe you got raped and attacked by him (Your family). Yes, it is true i had befriended him but don’t you think if i had known i had befriended a neighbor who is a rapist i would have stayed away?

Not so long ago our country was celebrating the 16 Days of activism against women& child abuse. And to let you know this-I don’t know how many times I’ve denied myself sleep at nights to be part of the women who marched this country’s streets for people to recognized the needs of women to be taken seriously.
I was there when it all begun.The Jacob Zuma rape trial with my purple one in nine campaign T-shirt shouting support the 1 in 9 women who speak out! against their rapists. Still i was Lesbian. I cannot begin to count and calculate the times i have referred rape survivors who needed a shelter and a place to stay. THROUGH IT ALL I HAVE BEEN THE LESBIAN THAT I AM. To me it has never been about their sexuality but the fact that a woman is a woman. Hurt is hurt. As much as rape is rape regardless of my sexual preference. It is like it is AIDS is AIDS is AIDS thats why i stand up for solidarity with all women.

8 comments December 22, 2006

A day in AIDS hospital

They’re coming in…pouring in
Walking up and down
Some happy, laughing and smiling
Some in pain,but trying so hard to present happy faces
Some wrtitten sorrow all over their faces
Others written regret on their apprerances
They share their stories
Convencing one another with realities of living with dreadful, monsterss and painful disease is all the talk you keep hearing around the room.
Some are brought by their loved ones,they can barely walk
Others are on wheelchairs,death is all keep straring from their eyes

The queues ara so long, we’ve been here since the early morning
BUT,because a chance to a better life is all we’re waiting for
What else is there to do?
What else is there to achieve?
Others look frightned and scarered
As for the one next to me…I salute her
She’s positively promoting to others how she lives and mantains a normal life with her smoking and boozing as if nothing’s wrong.
“Its true-nothing’s wrong,its only that she’s infected” afterall she has to live a normal life just like any other normal living being in the world.FUCK! the status! and the HIvirus ,she must be crazy!

Some you can tell just by viewing and looking at them that-Gone are those days!
Whilst, others its like “I’m a size 32 but today I’ borrowed my brother’s/sister’s size 40 pans or T’s
OH! Shameless and mercyless is this HIV/AIDS

Its been 5, 10, 13, 20…..years
You hear others installing hope to the already hopeless
How terrifying but hearing them share eases the pains to others
Others have brought their babies and children whom are also sick
and you turn to ask yourself,Where did this AIDS come from?

There are various and different smells all over the room
Its smells terrible and making one feel like vomiting
Is it the smell of pills? different crowds of sick people? or is it the filthy smell of HIV itself?
“My mother use to warn me about running around with different men BUT I never listened and now I know I’m going to die and I deserve it” this one keeps going on.
Some of these people are in chains-maybe-emotionaly but not physicaly “I mean”
They are being brought here by the prison warders
What a shame and pity!
Some we know each other from the township as neighbours
BUT, because we’ve bumped into each other in this place
There are no friendly and neighbourly greetings as usual.
They seem ashamed and embarased
Shit! this AIDS is one thing capable of causing unnecessary hate!

With all thats happening around
I wonder…
Where am I going to end?
When is my turn?
When is the virus going to take over my fighting and willing body?
When will it all go away?
BECAUSE….
As strong as I can be
It is within this solid and concrete body of mine.
And slowly but surely
I WILL GET USED TO THIS
AIDS HOSPITAL!!!

4 comments November 13, 2006

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