Posts filed under: ‘Impressions‘


She’s been hurt , harmed and destroyed by these dogs called”men”

Marks and scrars never to disappear have bee left in her body.

She’s been taken for a ride and made to believe she was going to win this time around,by our falsely imposed justice system….the fucked up justice system!

One keeps on asking and wondering….When is is all gonna go away?

When will women be taken into serious consideration by our country,its citizens, the gorvenment and its ministers?

You’re beaten up,raped and molested

Yet, no matter how hard you cry no matter how high you scream…

They just keep on passing you by.

They enjoy your screams. laugh about it. they mock you names.

They praise their stupidity and foolishness about you.

They share their cowardly insults about you while forgetting the most importnt lessosons to be learned and perceived in life about life…love each one as brothers&sisters  so did say GOD!

Never had I though I’ll see the day  when tears will be be rolling like that from her eyes.

 Never had I thought I’ll see her break down like that in front of so many of us BECAUSE she had always appeared to be one hell of a strong woman

She had always managed to calm my bleding and troubled heart

She had always comforted the troubled being within me and many others

She held me,when I cried so many times

She whispered songs and poetic melodical tunes for my once battered, bruised and rejected soul.

Tihngs  change in life…people change.

People take advantage,they turn to use others

They always change your perception about life, in life

They therefore inflect poisonous and painful bruises into the dept of your heart.

Being despite is the only contibution towards your life,they turn to bring forth

Hating living and ling to hate is all that they manage to do.BUT reality is-

GOD created you and GOD knows the best

Forgive and forget..they say BUT how could you?

Forgive? yes ,but forget? it can take /takes life time…i mean

She’s been hurt

She’s been taken advantage of

She’s been crying and yet nothing has been done about it

Except! her will and right to llive a normal life like any another human in this world

She’s been misjudged and made to become a victim and a statistic

Asking why it had to happen does and wont help

Having and holding grudges is still a mystery and misert within.

BUT like she once comforted me, like she once told me

“ALL WILL BE OKAY” I stil say-

Dont ever change because of them

Stand up for who you are and the tears in that woman’s eyes will disappear

Strongly as women,we shall overcome

We shall win win the battles against these “dogs” and the country’s corrupt system

The tears on my my sister’s eyes will DRY! (more…)


2 comments November 15, 2006

another day facing that day!

The smell of hate never goes away. The thought of betrayal stays and remains within my thoughts,sights,senses and deep within my soul and spirit. It has made think and feel I’m mad. It sometimes hits me like i’m worth nothing. I had never talked about it nor told anyone of it. That is why I eventualy felt the need sharing what’s been haunting my soul and causing me so much restlessness in my heart. It has made me develop a sense of vomit each time someone lights up a cigarette or smoke in front of me.But, because South-Africa is a free and democratical country, who am I to judge or stop these filthy smelling smokes?

Such experiences never go away. The haunt you till GOD knows when. They are  sometimes brought back to your head by the enviroment, your sorroundings and unthoughtful people. I have never expected people to sympathise BUT for them to understand. I have always been the type to keep quite no matter how emotionaly wounded I am.

Rape is never an easy stress or ordeal to deal with, thats said over and over again.I mean-I also know and have preached about my incidents to an extent that people get tired of hearing my same old stories.reality is-it has’nt happened to me only and still life goes on.I have to swallow it like it or not.

You see, some of the things are better kept inside but if comes that day.They struck, they struck like a hot coal burning inside and they change your whole perception about life,people,love,friends,trust and you would  opt to remain alone and Fuck the world! its all that your state of mind keep enforcing to you,your state of being and living. Telling such stories or talking of it is traumatising and tormenting enough.

Today something happened, I had never thought I will like this. I had never thought it would be so hurting, Shit! I had never thought about it at all.I never thought I’l see him on top of me again just by looking at him. I have cried enough and figured I was over and pass that stage.BUT today I saw him.

This place is full of people, I want to hide my fear but I sense everyone can see right through me. I have never felt so empty and alone. I dont have wings to fly away to disappear from this place.There are terrible smells, my skin is smelling of dirt. I’m smelling of him. I sent various people a number of call me’s hoping they’l call and atleast I can talk to someone and explain to them what had just happened.

He smiled at me. He greeted me as if there’s nothing wrong wrong. BUT I can see right through his eyes that he’s happy. He did it, he raped me, my soul and my being. He’s  got AIDS. He’s looking like he’s about to die anytime soon from now. I have HIV and its because of him and his dirty deed. I hate him. I hate his look and I hate AIDS. 

I wish I had power but I only have fear and I hate that fear. If I only I could, I’l punch while pinning holes in his face.I curse him, his parents and his HIV. I wish and curse death on him. I hate the fears and sleepness night’s he’s causing an inflected to my soul and was that day it took place. BUT cause writing is my GOD given doctor and healer I would go on, i mean that was then and this is now.

He raped me, he forced himself on me. I begged him to stop  but he continued.he hurt me then and he’s hurting me now. I shouted but no one listened. I fought with him but he did it anyway.after he was done he smiled and said “so, what was so hard,you aer a woman and you needed to be reminded”. I had asked and begged him to atleast use a condom but he insulted and went on beating me. “He was going to show me he” said I am a bitch and fucking other women is not going to change that. Only God will rescue me! I kept praying. and he did but is he going to rescue me from all this trauma of endless nightmares and HIV?                                 

1 comment October 25, 2006






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